Driven by Pain...

On a different note,

Growing up I was a bit clumsy, ended up with a lot of scars and most I didn't even remember getting. I also recall many emotional scars, none unlike what we all endure growing up. The learnings that came from those times has been invaluable, and I am thankful for the Life I've lived... I know I wouldn't be who I am today other wise!
I wonder how many of You would agree with me that pain becomes numb after a while... Meaning, after enduring the pain becomes the norm at times... I think this is common, and would explain a lot of behavioral issues we face as we get older. You see, we forget the weight, heartache, trials, pain, emptiness and unfulfillment that comes in living in this carnal world. We begin to think pain is a way of life... I stand here before you today remembering those times... Wanting it all to end... Not wanting to carry this weight any more!
I remember praying to a God I didn't know for Him to remove me from this Life as I was exhausted! Well, guess what... He did! It was after the anger, I began to allow Love in... I allow clarity, wisdom knowledge & understanding to enter my heart! We cannot hold on to the past but learn from it, and we must be accountable to ourselves in the NOW. Once I took my eyes full of pity of ME, Myself and I, I could then focus on the one who could actually provide and redirect my life! For the first time I wasn't living for pain, but living for a great purpose! My fulfillment wasn't based on the world, but on my spiritual journey!
Pain is a great motivator and catalyst... but if we are grounded in the world, it only becomes a lead weight. Pain reminds us of our need for a Savior... It reminds us how Amazing LOVE is to give & receive. These very trials help us to refine our faith, not get lost in the hate of this world.
I felt like I was alone, I felt I was the only one feeling this way... That "Self" focus only drove me to continue selfish, unhealthy, dysfunctional, and destructive decisions! You are NOT alone, You are Loved, and there IS a bigger purpose for your life! We must let go of the ME, and live for the WE... God has a plan for all of Us, but we must make the choice to seek Him every day!
We are driven by pain... but its our choice of whether we end up face down at the alter, or face down in the dirt!

Good day & God bless,
Chris